Therapy for the First Time? 3 Surprising Things You Should Know (2026)

Therapy can be a daunting prospect for many, and it's natural to feel a range of emotions when embarking on this journey. Here's an in-depth look at three seemingly odd behaviors that are actually quite normal when you start therapy, according to experts.

1. Crying or Not Crying

The idea of crying in therapy might evoke images of sobbing hysterically, but the reality is far more nuanced. Collin Vernay, a licensed psychologist, emphasizes that there's no 'normal' behavior expected in the first therapy session. It's a deeply personal and vulnerable experience, and emotions can vary widely.

Some individuals may find themselves overwhelmed by sadness or anxiety, leading to tears. Others might feel a sense of relief or even flatness as they begin to open up. Vernay assures that neither reaction is out of the ordinary. The goal of therapy is to create a safe space, and therapists are trained to handle a wide range of emotional responses.

Krista Jordan, a psychotherapist, adds that it's common for patients to be surprised by their own emotions. Some may cry, while others might not. The key is that these feelings are valid and expected. Therapy is a process of exploration and understanding, and it takes time to navigate these emotions.

2. Feeling Nervous or Awkward

The initial therapy session can be an awkward encounter, especially for those new to the experience. Vernay explains that this awkwardness is a natural part of the process. It's a time for both the therapist and the client to assess and understand each other.

As the sessions progress, this awkwardness often dissipates, giving way to a deeper sense of trust and comfort. Jordan recommends giving therapists around six to eight visits to determine if they are the right fit. This period allows for the development of a therapeutic alliance, which is crucial for effective therapy.

3. Feeling Like You're Still Sizing Each Other Up

It's not uncommon to feel like you're still getting to know each other even after the first session. This feeling doesn't necessarily indicate a problem; it's a natural part of the therapeutic process. According to psychologists Arthur Bohart and Amy Greaves Wade, the therapeutic relationship solidifies around the fifth session.

This timeline highlights the importance of active engagement from both the therapist and the client. Therapy is not a passive activity; it requires effort and participation from the patient. Vernay advises giving therapy a chance for at least a few sessions before making a decision, as it can take time to find the right therapist.

In conclusion, therapy is a deeply personal and often emotional journey. These three behaviors—crying, feeling nervous, and the initial awkwardness—are all normal and expected. By understanding and embracing these experiences, individuals can begin to navigate the therapeutic process with greater ease and confidence.

Therapy for the First Time? 3 Surprising Things You Should Know (2026)

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